Dear Diary,
I am so alone. I am so alone right now.
So, as you may be aware, there is a little "gate" in the stairwell of the parking ramp here. It's on the main floor in the stairwell that connects to the employee entrance. It's a little swinging gate that blocks off the stairs going down to the underground parking levels, and I think it may have been put there to prevent people from falling? Either way, it's a waste of material and it creates pure havoc for any helpless souls that may cross paths in this unfortunate, castastrophic-prone region. First of all, when you're carrying a massive work bag, a giant squirrel box with food, and any other stuff you "need" for work, it's a complete hassle to have to swing open a gate to go downstairs. For this reason, along with my preference for parking in naturally illuminated areas, I park upstairs. You would think I wouldn't have to deal with the gate then, right? Wrong. It seems like every time I walk down the stairwell to the main floor, someone is always coming up the stairwell from the underground parking, resulting in the most awkward human interaction you've ever seen. I'm not sure if I should stand back and let the person tackle the gate themselves, if I should assist them with the gate, or if I should just say "screw it" and bolt for the lobby to avoid any weirdness. The problem is, I'd prefer to stand back and give them the go-ahead, but most of the time, they'd prefer to wait for me to pass instead! It's a battle of selflessness that culminates into retardedness. I feel like a jerk if I just bolt ahead, but I've realized sometimes I just have to do it. To make matters worse, when the gate opens, it blocks the door that connects to the employee entrance. So you can imagine the gong show that erupts when two people collide in the stairwell AND someone else is trying to get into the stairwell. There you have it; Three grown adults, beating on metal and concrete, grunting at each other in pure confusion, much like a tribe of monkeys. Do monkeys ever form tribes? Whatever.
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The reason for those swing gates is to funnel people out of the building incase of a fire. If there was a fire people would be panicking and everyone would start running down the stairs. But would anyone be paying attention to where the ground floor was? or would everyone just keep running into the basement where they would burn? the answer is that they would burn. Especially the fat lazy people who use the elevator all the time. Unless they've been in a fire before. In that case they may be familiar with the general structure of a stairwell but they'll probably still get confused and run to the basement. Unless as they are running their legs crash into a metal gate and then waves of panicked people push up against them. Then they'll think "buttered biscuits! I can't go through this gate! I better run as fast as my tubby legs can take me out the only other door i can see!" and they will run to safety.
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